Elder Care

The surprise of being part of the "between generation" is overseeing health care for
your parents. Actually it's not a surprise; what is the surprise is
the level of duration and intensity of the activity. I was always
expecting a short period of need with a rapid end. After all, that was
my total experience based on what I had seen from my grandparents. My
grandparents were so considerate, living full and active lives.
They toiled with children through a depression and when their time came
they accepted support from those around them for a short time and
moved on as their lives ended.

Someone forgot to tell us that they can keep a person alive forever now. My parents are withering. The same pair that remained continually active is now nearly sedentary, often in pain, and nearly always
disagreeable. As true modernists they know that one more pill or drink of elixir
will make them well. Mom & Dad didn't help themselves when it came to
health. Many years of extreme alcohol consumption has taken a toll on
them. However this has provided me the opportunity to meet interesting people;
their doctor is becoming a friend, we've found common interests other
than my folks. The social worker at the hospital knows me by sight
when we pass on the street. She asked me once how I deal with the
challenges of parental care. I had to be honest with her "I drink". The
stunned look was worth every moment. I do drink but there is a lot of
difference between a quart of vodka and a cocktail in the evening.

Dad recently pushed me a little further into the parent role. We thought he had a stroke. He provided us the opportunity to experience the local emergency room in the evening, a very busy time. Following a battery of tests which included bloodwork, CTs and x-rays it became clear that Dad hadn't had a stroke that day. Rather he had consumed a great quantity of spirits. Doctors give lectures to children about parents in a much sterner manner than they do to parents who's child was injured.

I'm not sure when I became my father's keeper.

I think my parents operated under the same misconception as me
(maybe that's where I got it): they saved and invested so they would be
able to enjoy their golden years. They just didn't know health care
would be able to keep them alive forever.